Waking up is hard to do ...

Would you like some ice chips, Michael?

ummm, yeah.

(wooozy)

Would you like some more ice chips, Michael?

ummm, yeah...

I remember feeling like like I was choking too every time I swallowed. It was scary!

Those were the first recollections after saying goodbye to my wife, being rolled down hallways and into the operating room for a radical prostectomy, the course I had chosen for dealing with an early diagnosis of prostate cancer.

The road here started quite a whole earlier when I was going in to get a new prescription on by Hypertension medicine. We did not have a "regular" doctor since we had recently moved from Iowa. "Anyone will do fine" was my answer to which Doctor I would like to set an appointment with.

The Doctor I drew was not content to just give me my prescription (which I have been on for about 7 years now), no he wanted to learn more about me. What was my family medical history, for example. "Adopted" is the answer to that one, there is no known family history. So, can I have my prescription now...?

"Well then I think we should run a fill battery of tests and find out what you do and do not have" was his answer. GREAT!! I HATE needles!

I was not going to do the return test and just get another doctor next time, but I decided it was easier to just do it and get him off my back.

Then the results came back. PSA levels are elevated.

Ok...so...?

Urologist??? Are you kidding??? NO WAY!!!

But I eventually did. If you thought the doctor's one finger exam was bad, are YOU in for the shock of your life! Prostate biopsies are really not fun at all!!! Not to mention a complete invasion of privacy!!! Why do you think we cal them PRIVATES anyway???

2 weeks later, the test results come back. Finally I can put this whole thing to rest and just get on with life.

Cancer.

What?

We found cancer cells in your prostate.

My world suddenly fell apart. Or should I say it all came to a standstill. I was frozen in time. Many have aptly described it as getting the wind knocked out of you. You can't breathe, you can't move, you just sit there.

After leaving the office stunned my wife and I had some errands to run which all seemed to be suddenly very unimportant. It was the day after Thanksgiving, 2008.

After much time and prayer and reading and soul searching and conversations I finally decided it was going to be the surgery. Remove the prostate completely.

Then there was the waiting for the surgery date. It took so long to come and yet it was so short a wait.

The drive to the hospital was the longest one I have driven, all 3 miles of it. Got checked in, got undressed, met the people who would be involved in the surgery and then it was time.

As I was rolled away, my wife came by, grasped my hand and repeated the greatest words I have ever heard, "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you..." bu this time we were both in tears, "The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace!" and with that she was gone.

In and out of the elevator, down the hall to the operating room. Big lights, yet for all the light there was NO HEAT in the room.

A few extra words of explanation and I was out. The next thing I remember...

"Would you like some ice chips, Michael?"

Ummm, yeah.

And so the recovery began.